Adult asian christian dating marriage
On the other hand, for many years I’ve seen the salvaging of marriages that seemingly everyone else has given up on.Admittedly, I become frustrated with leaders or counselors who too quickly encourage the abandoned spouse to accept that it’s over and move on. However, my experience is that too often we don’t count on the power of God and, therefore, make premature judgments about how hopeless a situation might be. I think that’s a fairly good word to use when God’s involved.That’s the only time I’ve heard the story work just that way. If your spouse has told you that he or she is in love with someone else, I suggest you do the following things.More often the abandoned spouse prays and prays but the abandoning spouse reacts callously. They don’t want to face the guilt of their wrongdoing. It means that sometimes God works directly on a person’s heart in ways beyond human understanding, and sometimes He uses other methodologies. Before giving up on a straying spouse, it would behoove you to ask, “Is my spouse a bad person doing a bad thing, or a good person doing a bad thing? However, if at heart they are good people, they are worth rescuing.It makes you less attractive and intensifies whatever justification he or she has mentally made that allows leaving you. Make it clear that while you would like to save the marriage, your life will go on and you will prosper if they don’t come back. When a person believes that you are there no matter what they do, they have no compulsion to do right. Other people in your life who care about you will still care about you. And, believe it or not, it often helps bring the spouse back, though you cannot do it for only that reason.When they see that you can live happily without them, you become more attractive. No matter how much you love your spouse, life can go on and be good if he or she leaves you. When you are sure that your spouse is involved in something, or with someone, that is wrong, arrange a group to do an intervention.I’ll make another admission; I’ve gone through marriage intensives with couples that at the end I would have predicted there was no way they would heal their marriage. For example, recently a couple came through our weekend intensive workshop for marriages in crisis that shared a remarkable story. Like so many others they didn’t understand the danger and forged ahead with a friendship that was destined to become a passion.Though highly involved in their church, she had gotten too close to another member and that had gradually led to adultery. By the time they realized they were on the wrong path, they were so enmeshed with each other that they were convinced that the best thing for everyone – spouses, children, church – was to divorce their spouses and marry each other.
It’s much more likely that the abandoning spouse will avoid anything that might convince him or her to stop the new relationship and heal the marriage.
However, I’ve witnessed case after case in which those marriages were saved, sometimes even after the divorce took place.
One couple remarried after being divorced ten years! There are marriages that are doomed and no matter what happens, it will end and never be healed.
Finally, you made the discovery that your spouse did have someone else. Maybe you checked the cell phone bill, read emails, found a note or letter in a pocket or purse, or, even worse, someone saw them and told you about it. Secrecy helped them, not you, but because you thought there might be a chance to keep him or her calm and possibly stop this nightmare, you allowed yourself to be manipulated.
Maybe your abandoning spouse had a period of hesitation.